Lately

the house is coming together....feeling a bit more like home every day. another peek at my room--it's slowly coming together! i am pleased. and here i am, furniture shopping on my local streetcorner. that was my incredibly unflattering sunday night-drinks-with-my-girlfriend outfit. and for those of you who are wondering if i picked up smoking along the way, it's not mine...purely a furniture shopping accessory.

i threw a honest to goodness pity fest tonight at the gym. i had to recruit me fellow therapist friend to therapize me, it was that bad. feeling sorry for myself is not a pretty picture (or feeling). i allow it very infrequently, and only in small doses. i figure it can't be bad in extreme moderation. it's hard being the single friend of a lot of not-single friends. it's hard never being anyone's number one, while they can ALL be my number one. it's hard knowing they are leaving our wonderful girl's date, and going home to their love, while i tuck myself in for the night....ok, this is getting hard for even me to read. there you have it: a peek into my pity party.

i watched my brother and good friend run the half marathon this weekend--so inspiring! call me sentimental, but i got all choked up. (EACH AND EVERY TIME A RUNNER WENT BY) not sure what it was about it, but maybe i was feeling a bit of what i might feel if i decided to run one. like every step is a huge success, a major accomplishment. i will run a half marathon in the next year. that's my goal. i don't make many goals for myself, i like to take life as it comes, challenging myself in more spontaneous ways. training for something like a half marathon takes commitment, patience, stamina, motivation....none of which i possess in great amounts. but i will do it! if only to experience having other people cheering for ME.

i stumbled across a lovely blog tonight, of a single girl living in the northwest, full of life and humor and depth and fun. (funny what we can extract from a blog) i love coming across people like this--i must search for more of them more often. it reminds me of what i want to be, what i could be doing, what bravery looks like. i need to be surrounded by lots of brave people.

night night.