i want you back

i have this little jackson 5 ditty in my head! i love it, and can't keep myself from tapping my foot and snapping my fingers (and maybe shutting my office door and dancing around).
a few words about stress:
i think, if i actually slowed myself down enough to listen to my body and mind,i am more stressed these last months than i have been in years. i am someone who gets overwhelmed easily. i get hurt and disappointed easily. i tackle too many big things all at once and then can't sort them out. i was what they call "ADHD" in elementary school. i put SO MUCH emotion into things i care about--into hoping this guy actually follows through when he seems interested, and feeling sure the chemistry i felt was mutual. into learning a new job and feeling inadequate and completely qualified at the same time. into turning a secret desire for something into actually driving 1.5 hours (a total of 6 times) to see it, to getting the money, to buying it, and to suddenly owning a motorcycle when 5 days ago i didn't. into dissecting and rebuilding an old and sensitive and ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY relationship all within a week's time.
these are only a few things that have been requiring nearly all my energy recently. i feel so tense, so alert, so vigilant, so completely FEELING everything in my body, i can hardly see straight by the end of every day. and as someone who teaches and preaches self care for a living, i am not so sure i'm succeeding in walking the walk.
it only occurred to me recently that i feel stress, all over. it seems so normal to have to hold myself together this way....
all that emotion needs a break. i need a respite from my own intensity. i watched a short clip of an interview with kristen bell on the ellen show, where she said if she's not between a 2 and 7 (out of 10), she's crying. if she's sad, or too happy, she can't regulate her emotions and literally shuts down--she needs to stay in that middle section. and then she showed a home video clip of her husband surprising her for her birthday with a sloth (just watch the video it's too good) and she is in a fetal position on her bed sobbing, unable to contain the amount of emotion she is feeling. it actually makes me laugh to think about it now. i'll let you figure out the relevant of this story on your own.

well, i'm sure glad it's friday. happy weekend:)