full.

not full of food. just full of life. and i guess love too. it's been an emotional week, and i have loved spending a few days in the snowy mountains of colorado. but even more, i love being in this house with this family i know so well, and these kids that own my heart. this sweet girl has been on my lap for 2 days straight. it feels so sweet to have watched her be born into this world, and to still know her 6 1/2 years later and get to be part of her big life. i am more excited to see her littlest brother grow and thrive and bring lots of laughter and fullness to our lives.
i am feeling so hopeful. full of hope. life seems full of possibilities lately, and i really feel happy. i have been getting waves of "this moment is so perfect." lately, and i'm trying to pause and just feel the fullness that comes with those moments. there are lots of things i don't like about myself, and lots of areas i feel inadequate and whiny about. but i'm not allowing those things to grow and fill in my life like weeds, invasive and ugly. i just don't want it. now, i'm a vain person and it's hard for me to NOT pick away at myself, striving for perfection and prettiness. but in light of recent events, that picking away at myself just feels selfish and self-centered. there are so many other things i would rather spend my time on.
like being grateful. and full.