lots on my mind lately. i haven't really been able to sort them out or separate my thoughts...it's harder than it seems. i am not sure i really feel like i am grounded these days. i'm having a difficult time putting into words what that means. I think it means that i feel disconnected, moving too fast, things are fuzzy, my lines are not clear, i am confused, bewildered, a little unsure. i fear i may have dug myself a little too deep in a few situations, and i am really trying to figure out what it is i really want.
sometimes i feel like i know myself well, and take giant confident steps everywhere i go. and then other days, or weeks or months, i surprise myself with how different i can be, even to myself. i take wobbly, novice steps, tripping and stumbling when i was sure i knew the path by heart.
wobbly and different. maybe that describes me right now. awkward. clumsy. a little scared at how big those confident steps were, and now not so confident i can backtrack....maybe it's not even necessary. but i get little tugs sometimes, and i wonder what to do about it...
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