i always kind of wonder how much i should divulge in these little insignificant blog posts... i think i have decided to keep things pretty vague, and let my readers (do i have "readers"?) fill in the blanks. maybe the story others create about me will be quite exciting and i will want to let them keep thinking that.
lately, i've been feeling consumed by the task of pulling it together. keeping it together. holding it together. i am amazed at some of the people i know and how they manage to really hold their lives together. i am grateful it is in my blood to be able to organize and stay relatively responsible and practical, otherwise i would fall apart at the subtle brushing up against stress. i have a few balls that i keep juggling at the same time, and my mind works in appointments and hourly slots.
but my free time....oooooooh, that sweet, perfect free time. me time. don't touch it. don't come near it. no, seriously...i'm warning you...that doesn't get messed with. i've clearly chosen time over money these last few months, picking up extra massage shifts begrudgingly, but only when in desperate need. i don't feel like i could make it though my weeks emotionally without that important time.
i've been crushing hard. on everyone. somewhere along the road in the last few months i ditched my fear of saying "yes" and the anxiety that comes with not knowing what may happen, being braver in opening up, or at least just giving guys a try. it feels a little frightening at times, but i also feel more excited and light hearted about this. which i think is a fabulous new addition to my life. i'm treading lightly, though, because who knows when this may backfire on me. bam!
happy saturday.
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