i opened myself up to someone recently. not the verbal blah blah blah that i'm also very good at, but a more internal opening....and come to think of it, he may not even have realized it was happening. i decided pretty quickly that i was interested. more than interested. i LIKED this guy. so strange. so surprising. and as soon as i trusted that, it was easy to feel myself growing soft and open towards him. just like that. my stellar guardedness and professional self-sabataging efforts were shut down in an instant. i'm still impressed at how quickly we can change, from one person to the next. sure, old habits and messages still exist in us, but when something clicks (or unhinges, in a way) it just seems like our hearts and bodies go on autopilot and do the rest for us.
unfortunately, i'm pretty certain this guy did not come unhinged, as i did. but it leaves me hopeful and grateful all at once.
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