oh my, oh dear. months fly by and i have neglected my wandering thoughts. at least on this particular canvas. they are getting put down, don't you worry, just in a different book.
i have such a hard time sitting still long enough to actually be still. i have lots of ideas of what i want, and can't seem to materialize them. i feel like i am hovering in some sort of middle-earth. feet not quite on the ground, yet not entirely floating away, either.
i guess i am content. i can think of lots of things i want, or think that i need, but overall, i genuinely feel like i am moving forward. like every day i am taking steps in a forward motion. you can't possibly know how sweet that feels for me, after years of feeling like i was walking backwards no matter how hard i pushed forward.
i've been thinking lately about how many of my problems would be solved with money. how many more trips i could take, how many more spontaneous moments could be had and enjoyed, how many more shoes i could buy that would make me look awesome. until the money starts appearing in my jacket pockets in bundles of hundreds, i will have to continue with my creative (but somewhat effective, i must admit) ways of achieving these pleasures with a smaller wad of cash.
i hope i can find a man that will appreciate those shoes, someday.