the very first

so it begins..i have envied, coveted, stalked other bloggers in hopes of finding the secret to being interesting, bright, light, full of life and love and god's grace. and i found no secret. only that other's actually posted their daily struggles, triumphs and thoughts rather than hoarding them inside, self-conscious and shy. 

i really am in the sweet spot. i have a tugging in my heart lately that won't go away, and i know it's god trying to get my attention. i am slow in making friends, slow in letting people get too close, and it turns out this is no exception. it's just strange because i have "known" god and been pretty deeply involved in christian community and leadership for almost 10 years now.  i guess it is sweet, any way you look at it. life is full of color, laughter, pain and joy. unfortunately i've only been sensitive to the pain, the disappointments, the frustrations in the last few years. i am ready to see the bright orange, yellow and green. i am ready to paint, to laugh, to sigh with contentment. i am ready to live! what better time than now, to start appreciating and loving my full life, starting with this summer. 

here we go!