GOOD

i am on the other side. i truly feel like i have moved from being IN the grieving process and pain on a daily, even hourly basis, to being on the OUTSIDE of it. i dont' know when it happened or how, but all of a sudden it did. almost overnight. i feel free, light and alive. i feel like i have been giving a second chance, a new beginning to try it all over again.
and as all this is happening, i get to meet new people and expand my perspectives and walls. i love that. i am so glad we never stay the same, that we are always in flux, always changing. it's interesting how the things we think we can't live without, suddenly become the things we need to live without, the things we WANT to live without. and there are so many better and exciting things out there for the taking, that we would never know about unless we truly let go of what we thought we needed.
hope is another thing that i am starting to feel more of lately. this is a BLESSING. this is huge for me, since i've sort of closed myself off to all things "god" for a while now. for whatever reason---fear, guilt, pride, stubbornness, loneliness, pain---my heart hardened and began carrying the weight of the world on itself.
but i feel the edges softening, i feel myself becoming pliable again, flexible, warm...
the edges are softening. it is only the beginning...